je suis un va-nu-pieds, mais nu, les pieds vont quand meme

Currently sitting in YOW, waiting for our first flight. Big thanks to Pen's husband for waking and driving us at 4:30 am! On our way! For real! Can't believe this is actually happening!

Of all the things I'm worried about, it's her shoes. When we take her home from the orphanage (in like, 36 hours, maybe!), she does not get to take any clothes with her. I ran out and bought her the actual cutest dress in the world for her to change into on the way out the door, but nothing for her feet. I don't know what size she is. A Google search gave me an average, but who knows. And judging by the picture, it looks like she has giant hobbit feet! I could be wrong, but... I don't know. Looks like she'll be starting her life with us barefoot. 

We'll stop at a store on the way back to the hotel. Promise.

I should probably be worried about the mounds of paperwork and red tape we've gotta ninja our way through. Mike's taking care of worrying about that, though. I'll worry about the footware.

King Rama IX, December 5th 1927 - October 13th, 2016

Last Thursday we were saddened to hear of the death of Thai King Bhumibol Adulyadej. He was the longest-reigning monarch and beloved by his people. In the days since his passing, I have learned a lot about his life, and why the Thai were so enamoured with him. He adored his country and personally saw to countless projects to make it better, every day that he could. I'm particularly impressed with his work with street dogs. 

Thailand is officially a country in mourning, and will be for up to a year. Those of us who are not Thai have no real grasp of what this means. Maybe we'll begin to 'get it' when we're over there... but at the very least, we have to be careful not to offend by (inadvertently!) showing any disrespect. The main thing we can do is wear black. Those of you who know me know that I love bright colours... hence a shopping trip is in order before I start to pack. And I've checked - it'll be okay for Lucy to be in coloured clothing, which is good, because black is not easy to find in 18 - 24 month clothing around here, especially not in what's left in summer wear.

As far as we know, everything is still on track in terms of our meetings and important dates, and her adoption will proceed as planned.

All for now. Our most sincere condolences to the Thai people.

We couldn't get away with it THAT easily...

Some progress in the past couple of months! I've dropped my superstition (a bit) and done some shopping. She's got clothes, a stroller, a cool baby-carrying-backpack thing, a basement full of big toys, some books, a pink pink room, curtains, a crib, some paintings... we're getting there. Still a long ways to go before I'm ready... so as painful as it is to just be waiting for her, I'm also grateful for the time to prepare! Toddlers need so much swag! With everything I acquire I learn of two more things I need!

We've also recently received OFFICIAL word from Thailand that our meeting with the DCY will take place on November 16th. With this date, we were finally able to start arranging our trip. Working backwards, there are things we need to do (photos, medical, etc.) before the meeting and application that take a few days, so they recommend arriving about a week ahead of time for all that (we get to meet her and possibly take her 'home' on November 10). It takes about two weeks to process the visa, so a three-week total is what is suggested and what we have now, after a long story, booked. With all the hopeful hopes in the world, it works out that way!

Everything has been going so well for us, exactly by the Children's Bridge books... ahead of schedule, even! So now, just for fun, let's throw in some issues.

Issue number one is - through no fault of her little 14-month-old-self - she's stateless. We're aware and fine with it, Ontario is aware and fine with it, CB is aware and fine with it, Thailand is aware and fine with it, it's all good in the hood... except for - so far - with Canadian Immigration. They're currently reviewing our case and we're waiting with bated breath I don't think anyone else could possibly understand for their approval. From there, the High Commission in Singapore will issue her a special document under which she can pass the border. This has been done before - Pen put me in contact with the loveliest family from Nova Scotia who pioneered this process, going through hell and back to get their daughter!

Issue number two - for some reason, she has no surname. On her proposal letter, even on her birth certificate, she's just "Miss Wanwisa (unknown surname)". I didn't think anything of it until I had to go book the flights... which I did, thanks to the advice of my aunt, through a travel agent. Of course we like doing things on our own, we know how to work the internets, but when Mike found it a bit too challenging to do (with the two round-trip, one one-way à la Noah's Ark all in one shot) in his very little spare time over where he is, he passed the responsibility on to me... eep. Had to talk to my aunt to orchestrate getting my cousin's new number to get her family discount code as she's now an employee of Air Canada (!) and it's a good thing I did, because trying to book this flight was downright Herculean. 

So, yesterday I went in and was there for about an hour looking at the options and prices when we realized we needed a last name. I emailed Darlene (and Pen and everyone in my circle who has adopted to see how they got around this issue), and this is the first time a situation like this has been encountered. Lucy is so special! Like Cher, or Madonna, or Adele. Anyway, Darlene emailed Thailand, and luckily, they replied overnight that it's fine, just leave it blank.

Back I went with that information this morning. It was still a challenge as they had to write SOMETHING. After much research, it was discovered that they can fill it in as a code LNU - last name unknown. Yaaaaay! They (and by they I mean Air Canada, travel agent was just the wonderfully useful middleman who knew all the people to talk to and the questions to ask) also had to take down just about all the information in our dossier - social worker contact, agency contact, etc etc etc, as they have a part to play in preventing child trafficking. The lack of nationality thing didn't help either. Plus they had to merge the two files - two round trip, one one way, and it took three hours total. I had to go on two pee breaks and get sushi at various points while we were on hold (marathon training - constant carb flow and much hydration). Sharon (also an army wife) at Ottawa Travel and Cruise in Hazeldean Mall, you are the best. And Dawn at Air Canada, thanks for working this very complicated case. So we are set to fly with our little popstar in the making who sees no reason for these imaginary lines dividing people! She's getting her own seat, we're in the bulkhead, her stroller can be checked on the way there, ("yes hi Ottawa check-in person, I realize we have no child with us, but..."), the vegan option has been selected, I know my baggage limits, and hopefully, it'll all be okay.

One gamble I did take (and thankfully, Mike's okay with it) is not paying the extra for the flexible option. It's possible that we'll be able to leave early; it's equally possible that some paperwork won't be ready in time and we'll have to stay some extra days. So, a flexible ticket is a good idea. But they were $4000 more. Each. If we do have to change, then yes, we might end up paying that, or even more, which would suck. But it might be less. Or maybe even equal. Ticket prices are the most bizarre game... anyway, fingers crossed everything is ready on time and we can go on the 1st as planned.

To do now:

- wait for CIC's approval (then start ensuring that paperwork gets done ahead of time)

- continue shopping madly 

- figure out the dog situation for the time we're away (their awesome kennel is closed for renovations for part of our travel time! :( anyone want two big, loud, sheddy dogs with no manners for a week or so? they cuddle really well and will happily help you clean up any food spills...)

- paint hoofprints on her walls (goats!)

- book hotels

and probably a billion other things. Much excitement! Days to count down now! Aaaah!

 

Finally...I'd like to introduce you to Som Kid!

It was June 21st. I was in the library at work, supervising a handful of kids writing their eLearning exams. I saw my phone light up with Darlene's number on caller ID.

Darlene doesn't normally call.

I scurried over to my coworker Mike, who was also supervising, and told him I had to go take a call. Thankfully, Mike is chill, so I ran out into the hallway and got the best news of my life! 

I don't remember all of exactly what Darlene said right off the bat, other than "good news" "referral" and "it's a girl". I think at that point I collapsed onto the floor happy-crying.

I managed to stagger a few meters over to my office down the hall. The entire department was there, and looking at me, because I was clearly happily freaking out about something. Chris was on his way out and flashed me a grin and thumbs up. He later told me he'd assumed I'd won Hip tickets. Logic. I scribbled "I'M A MOM!!!!" on a piece of paper for everyone else... they were confused, but happy. I guess the whole adoption thing never came up with this particular set of coworkers? Other people in the building knew - I even gave a little seminar about the process to the parenting class - but not these guys. They figured it out, though.

More details came out - her birthday, her name, her status, her current location, that she was gorgeous and had some delightful messy curls going on.

We hung up and I knew I'd be getting an email with her picture and more details soon. I got hugs and love from everyone at AYJ, and ran around the school screaming for a while, trying to get a hold of Mike (the husband who is currently on tour in Europe, not the aforementioned coworker). It didn't take long, and when I told him, he got the biggest smile I'd ever seen. We agreed on her name, and then I remembered I was supposed to be working.

Christian from my department had kindly gone in and told Mike (the aforementioned coworker, not the husband) for me, and they sat with me and were lovely, not expecting me to do my job at all, which was okay, because we were down to just one supervisee. They were there when I got the email (which I forwarded to Mike (the husband)) and were the first to confirm how perfectly adorable she is!

Others came and went from the library and found me throughout the rest of the day to see the pictures and gush. I started feeling really bad that they'd all seen her before her grandmothers... but that's part of the fun of adoption, not being able to control when and where you find out! 

Mom was in France, and Mike (husband) and I agreed to wait to tell family until she returned so that I could at least do that one in person and see one face light up! 

Keeping it a secret for over a week was hard.

So anyway, here she is, world!

:D

Her given name is Wanwisa. As Pen (my neighbour and new friend, the one in charge of coordinating our upcoming trip to Thailand) explained to me, it's a common name for people born on or around Visakha Bucha Day in Thailand - wan means day, hence Wanwisa. We're keeping that as a middle name, and we want to call her Lucy. If, later in life, she decides she likes Wanwisa better, Wanwisa it is. But Lucy for its pronounceability in both English and French, for its connection to a Beatles song, to Queen Lucy the Valiant in my favourite set of books, and because you can't say Lucy Lee without smiling!

She's 13 months now. Year of the Goat and a Gemini. Awesomely close in age to two of her cousins and several friends' babies. PLAYDATES PLEASE!

We have information on her health and development (basically perfect), her temperament ("joyful and cheerful"), and a bit on her birthmother and how she came to be up for adoption (nothing unexpected).

At this point, we've signed the acceptance, which will go back to the agency tomorrow, along with the mandatory care package I've assembled... holy crap, I've never felt so much pressure before as the day I went to Toys R Us to pick out her first things! We had to send a blanket and I stood there for about 45 minutes trying to decide. I really wanted to pick out some (goat themed!) fabric and make her one instead, but this thing has to get in the mail pronto. 

And then we wait a bit more to find out our date. This is where things get a bit tricky due to Mike's being away until the end of October. There's a possibility he could get a away for a day or two, meet me in Thailand, sign the papers, fly back, and leave me as a single mom for a few months... or the possibility that we delay the meeting until November. That might happen anyway, due to one little paperwork hiccup Lucy is facing that is nobody's fault. As much as it pains me that she's just *there* in an orphanage and not with me for that much longer, it is what it is, and I can continue to be patient.

Lots to do in the mean time! I've gotta get... baby stuff! And learn how to take care of such a small human! Any advice, tips, tricks, and tools would be much appreciated!

Check!

Homestudy #2 is complete and over with and guess what - approved! No surprises there, but a relief, of course.

On the same day that went through, immigration also contacted us (8 weeks ahead of schedule!) to say our file there had been approved as well! Ha! Som Kid now exists in the system under the official name of Unknown Lee. He / She has even gotten his / her first email:



So yay! Now we are literally actually done everything we have to do before The Phone Call. It was always a minor possibility before immigration (but that would have delayed our pick-up ETA), but now it's for reals. Craziness. Still won't be expecting it until probably early next year. Very much HOPING it comes before Homestudy #2 (and immigration) expires!

All for now, but also, this link to some amazing-good reads on adoption.

Twoooooooooo years!

Congratulations, us, we've now been waiting for Two Full Years! That's a thing in Adoptionland. As mentioned in my last update, that's when the homestudy needs to be updated. That's currently in progress (just waiting to hear back...), and half paid for. We'd REALLY like to thank our wonderful references (Jason, Mama Lee, Mama Bishop, Heather, and Lindsay) for doing your part (again!) in Operation Som Kid! :D Here's hoping everything goes through as expected and we don't have to wait another two years and pester you a third time... pretty sure you'll be sick of it by then and maybe not give us such glowing reviews.

The other thing that comes with Two Full Years is that we get to fill the paperwork out as sponsors for immigration for Child Unknown (and no, we can't write "Som Kid" on the government documents, as awesome as it would be). I asked Cathy to send this to me a few weeks ago (she likes that I'm her most 'proactive' client... she calls me 'proactive' instead of 'annoying as,' it's nice of her) so I could get started while in a marking lull... but we're going to need more than a marking lull. Thus begins Binder #4. Immigration paperwork is a big deal, as it turns out! Why did I think it would be easy? I don't know, I think I just thought there'd be a special form for adoptive parents who don't know any details about their child, and then we throw them some money, and boom, done. But no. This is a part of a two-page CHECKLIST of all the forms we have to fill out and things we have to have copied and notarized and instructions for the rain dance we have to do and all the other hoops to jump through in order to bring Som Kid home! 

 

If we screw any of it up, they just stamp it "DENIED" and we have to try (and pay) again. If it's approved, the whole process takes about 16 weeks. So, if we are on track for a three-year referral date, we'll be okay as long as this gets done by early November. But, it literally could happen any day now (!!!), so the sooner, the better, just in case. Thankfully, people have been through this before, and one couple put together a (FOUR PAGE) list of tips and tricks to get us through these forms. It's a couple years outdated, but I'm hoping most of it still applies, otherwise, yikes. For example, most of the forms need to be 'validated' online before being printed and signed to ensure you don't miss any boxes, meaning everything needs to be filled out. So, what do we do for "Applicant's" name? DOB? Signature? Without these tips and tricks, we'd be so lost and frustrated already! :s

Remember how I said I hope it happens within the next two years? That's important for the immigration, too, as it will also expire then. So come on, 2016-17, we're counting on you!

Still Nothing but We're Doing SomThing

It really has been a long time since I've actually updated this thing. Over a year ago, I wrote about a bunch of upcoming changes expected in our lives, and those have all happened!
We moved to Ottawa in July. I'm loving Kanata and all its trails for walkies. I'm not loving that I've had to give up my volunteer work in Kingston, or the fact that I miss my friends, but everything else is A-Ok.  I've had to start at the bottom of the food chain in this area with my career, but it's been steady, at least.
Although I miss Violet so badly I still cry all the time, Poppy was extremely lonely, so we got her a puppy, Clementine, last year. C is extremely destructive and hates all other dogs in the family, but oh, we love her. We've had a few friends visit with small children recently, and little did they know, they were acting as our guinea pigs to see how the dogs were... turns out, totally fine, as I expected. I'm quite sure they will love having an extra pair of hands to pet them and play with them and someone else to run around with! Just hope Som Kid doesn't mind getting dirty and trampled from time to time.
And Som Kid's two new cousins, William and Taea, arrived safely in this world and are adorable and  doing great! And further family expansion: Som Kid's two first-cousins-once-removed are now married and engaged, so more people to love him!


The most exciting thing going on right now in terms of the adoption is that our original dossier is about to expire, so we have to do a bunch of it again. I bought yet another binder for all the paperwork! Forms forms forms, I love forms, and so does Mike with his government job.

We also have to meet with our new social worker, Sandra, a couple of times - yes, it was goodbye Judith. As much as we wanted to keep her, she'd have to charge travel expenses to come up to Kanata, and that adds on even more $$$, so we found local Sandra :(. Not that Sandra isn't lovely, just we really liked Judith! So yes, there's that, plus

- updated medicals

- new photos

- another local police check

- another child welfare check

- another RCMP fingerprinting session

- another home inspection

- mo' money.

Speaking of money, since the last time I did a grand total (somewhere in the $21000 range?) there have been a number of expenses - annual fees x2, membership renewal, AdopTalk travel expenses, and a deposit on Sandra's work, totalling another $3849 buckeroos. Yikes. All of these things are going to add up, too. I still can't believe most people get their kids for free.

At least part of this update was fun - the photos! Last time I struggled to come up with non wedding photos of the two of us - we're not exactly the type to document every little thing we do together, and we don't go out of our way to hand a camera over to someone else and pose all pretty-like, no no no. We had a few from our time in Jamaica, but those aren't recent enough. I was poking around friends and family with cameras to come out and take a few, but schedules just weren't working out. But then, as I was scrolling down my Facebook, one of the dog rescue groups I follow, Catahoula Rescue Ontario was having a silent auction. I'm super-broke, but I'm especially driven to donate lately, what with my aforementioned lack of volunteering, so I scrolled through and noticed a photography package was up for grabs. I checked them out - Elska Productions - realized they were amazing (well, already knew they were, as they were willing to donate their time for this), and bid until I won! My cool new friend Janet (hi Janet! aka my husband's new friend's wife) came out, and made a sweet portfolio for us, including these stunners (featuring apples from Sunnyside Farm):

                                                 

 

 

 

If you were Thailand, wouldn't you want to give us Som Kid?